Telling the loved ones

My parents came to visit last night and I told them everything. 

I'd been making myself sick all day with worry, and I'd gone back and forth between disclosure and hiding it - from rehearsing sentences in my head, to taping the drain tube and bag to my leg to disguise it so they wouldn't have to find out. In the end, my gut feeling was that I would regret it if they left none the wiser so I took a deep breath and started with "You'll notice I have a tube coming out the bottom of my pants. It's a surgical drain".

They did take it quite well and I was questioning whether I should have told them sooner but this is just the way I cope with things, quietly and alone. Had the cancer been contained in my leg, I wouldn't have needed this operation and nobody would have needed to know. They're pleased I sought treatment immediately and glad that I took the doctor's advice on treatment rather than go down the route of blissful ignorance like a friend of theirs did, which ultimately claimed his life. My dad's kindly going to give me a lift to the hospital next Thursday for my weekly drain check and dressing change.

As for how I'm doing, I'm okay. The bruising in my leg is really starting to become apparent and the swelling isn't showing any sign of abating, nor is the drain yielding less fluid - averaging 230ml a day. This isn't good because I can only have the drain for a maximum of four weeks in total and really it needs to be producing less than 50mls a day when it comes out. In other words, I have two weeks for it to reduce its output by 80% or more. 

If this doesn't happen, the drain will be removed and one of two things will happen; my body will reabsorb the fluid itself or my leg will swell. Given that this has happened previously, it will likely happen again. The treatment for this is to have a large needle inserted into my leg and to aspirate the fluid out manually. Dunno about you, but I can think of more fun things to do with my time. 

I found out too that I will get my results for the removed moles and the lymph nodes on April 24th. Please please let it be good news. I am most afraid of finding out one of the moles is cancerous and having to go through all this again on the other leg. If 1-2 of the removed lymph nodes show signs of cancer, there will be little or no further treatment. If 3 or more are affected, I will undergo radiotherapy.