Listen up, everyone with melanoma. You will be delighted to learn some breaking news. Skin cancer, it turns out, is "not real cancer". I have this on excellent authority from the new girl at work who is replacing me for six weeks. I met her today and I feel rather stupid. There was me thinking she was here as a temp to take over my project, when all along she is secretly the world's foremost cancer specialist, with knowledge that no other person has.
Within five minutes of meeting me, she was telling me she likes her boyfriend but hates that he's vegetarian (hi!). Within ten minutes, she told me that her mum, dad and grandma all have cancer. Her mum and gran have colon cancer, which is really serious and has made her gran quite unwell. Her, dad, on the other hand "only has skin cancer so it's not like it's real cancer or anything".
Phew. Aren't you relieved?
I can't wait to let the surgeon know when I go in on Monday for my lymphadenectomy. Those silly doctors. All this time, they have been treating people and doing operations when it turns out it's not real cancer. Doh!
Let me put it this way for anyone in doubt: if chemotherapy drugs worked on this type of cancer, I would be offered them. They would make me bald and sickly. Would that make you take it seriously?
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