I am beginning to loathe terms like "Cancer Warrior", "Cancer Survivor", "Cancer Victim" and pretty much any other noun that comes after the word Cancer. I will make an exception with Cancer Patient, since that's what they (and I) are.
Cancer is a shitty, shitty, unfair and pointless illness that causes untold pain, heartache and loss to a great many people. So too is malaria, HIV, pneumonia, TB and heart disease. But why don't we hear people call themselves "TB Survivors" or "Heart Disease Warriors"? What is it about cancer that makes people define themselves by it and wear it like a badge of honour? It seems like once you have a tumour, you're a citizen of Cancer Country where people speak a language of medical terms and platitudes.
I have told two people I have cancer - my husband and my boss. I told my husband because I know he would feel devastated and betrayed if I kept it from him, and I told my boss because this stuff requires a fair bit of time off work for appointments, recovery, operations and whatnot. If I didn't have to tell my boss, I wouldn't have, and I am adamant that I won't tell anyone else unless I really have to or else I go so far down the road with this that it becomes necessary and I can no longer hide it.
For me, cancer isn't something that defines me. People seem to think of it as a character trait, and you automatically become brave in their eyes. But there's nothing brave about doing what your doctor tells you to because otherwise you might die. Bravery is Aung San Suu Kyi or Wang Weilin:
It puts it in perspective, right? What pisses me off the absolute most about all of this cancer culture is the slushy, lazy sentimentality that accompanies this disease. Here is a prime example from Facebook:
Okay, since we have established that I am indeed a cancer patient, allow me to rip into this absolute crap that claims to speak for me.
Firstly, what a ridiculously ill-thought out generalisation of cancer patients that does absolutely nothing to differentiate between the different cancers and different stages. I am quite certain that somebody with a relatively easily treatable, early stage cancer like I have feels very differently to somebody who is nearing the end of their life with a cancer that medicine can't touch. Cancer is a catch-all term for over 100 different illnesses, all of which have very different stages and outcomes. Why on earth would one generalise to assume that all of those people would have the same outlook?
Secondly, good lord, how stupid must one be to have only one wish in the whole world - that they themselves recover? Presuming I rub a tin of catfood and a genie comes out and offers me a wish, what sort of self-absorbed shithead would I have to be to say "I wish that I, and only I, will get better from cancer"? Who the hell would choose that over, say, no more cruelty to man or animal anywhere in the world forever more, or the end to all suffering, or enough food and clean accessible water so that no person or animal will ever feel hunger or thirst again. Hows about "I wish every human and animal would feel happiness for most of the time"?. Even "that cancer is eradicated as of now" would be valuable. At the very very least, make a wish that everybody who has cancer gets better. What moron would waste their one catfood-genie wish on themselves?!
Thirdly, and this is my real gripe - you really care about cancer patients? Then stop writing sentimental shit with hearts on Facebook, and get off your arse and DO SOMETHING USEFUL. Lobby Government for more funding, better treatment and more accessibility to drugs regardless of postcode or social class. Learn and educate people. Dress up in pink tutus with your girlfriends if you have to, and raise money by running the Race For Life in memory of a Cancer Warrior. All of those things will help progress the 'fight against cancer'. Do NOT fool yourself into thinking that you have made a difference simply by clicking copy and paste on a networking site. I sodding hate laziness and sentimentality and shallow thinking, and this Facebook status has them all. I try very hard in life to be the change I want to see. I care passionately about animals so I am vegetarian (intending to become fully vegan at some point), I coordinate battery hen rescues and save lives in my spare time (around 5000 hens a year at the moment) and I try to educate and inspire people. I do NOT lazily applaud myself after writing "Be veggie to save the wuvverly cute animals <3 <3" on social media sites. I get off my arse and actually make a real difference.
I am going to conclude this post by saying that I have done a lot of research and reading whilst sitting with my leg in the air the last few days. Whilst I can't see myself become an interactive part of the cancer community, (although I may join some cancer forums at some point if I need knowledge and past experiences) I did come across this post on a forum which I found inspiring. It is the last words from a lady who died of breast cancer. Whilst I don't agree with all she's written, she clearly had some similar feelings about all of this to me, and is a lot more eloquent about it too. I hope, if it comes down to it, I can end on such a note:
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