I'm really bad at blogging

It's not because I have nothing to say; I did mean to write a couple of weeks ago about the mole and potential met I had removed from my right thigh (I'm still waiting for the results). I've not been writing for two reasons:
1) I am still absolutely drained from the sepsis in June. A charity called Sepsis Alliance says it can take up to a year to recover your energy but the problem is that you look fine and are behaving fine so the after-effects become like an invisible illness. It certainly doesn't help that I have been working 50-60 hours a week for three months straight but the thing is, I work in an industry where people would trample their dead mother to get an opportunity. While my colleagues and boss are lovely, I dare not show weakness because TV is an industry without pity. It is so difficult to find work and I cannot give anybody any excuse to let me go. So yeah, I am exhausted all the time. Things are improving slowly - 8 weeks ago I was sleeping through the entire weekend. At least I can stay awake for it now and I don't feel so much like I have ran a marathon when I wake up, more that I have just got back from the gym.
2) I am really forgetful these days, and I think that's also related to the sepsis. Case in point is this paragraph: forgetfulness wasn't going to be my second reason but in the 5 minutes since I started typing this post, I've forgotten what I was going to write. So let's just go with forgetfulness.
3) I have remembered now. It is that when I was diagnosed, everything in the melanoma world was so new and newsworthy. I was someone who never even went to the GP so hospitals were utterly alien environments. But that was almost 3 years ago, and at some unidentifiable point in time, all of this ceased being actively terrifying and just became distant background noise, like when you're in a dull meeting and your mind wanders. You're still vaguely aware that someone's talking but you've mostly tuned them out. Now and then I tune in again, like when I have an appointment or a scan or a biopsy, but day to day I tend to not think about it. Weird how the mind works, isn't it? This thing will mostly end my life but I have adapted to live with it and ignore it. I am getting on with life. And later this month I am going here and will be able to snorkel, scuba, drink cocktails in a hammock and generally fulfil 3 or 4 things off my bucket list. I am too excited. For now, life is good!