Hey cancer fans, just an update for you since I went off-grid for a while. I had my CT scan a couple of weeks ago and the results were good - all clear and nothing to see. I then had an ultrasound of the lump in front of my ear and that too is apparently fine. The consultant said it was a lymph node but the ultrasound doctor said no, it wasn't so it must be a lump of cartilage.
Whatever. I have no evidence of cancer at the moment! So I'm trying to draw a line mentally now I know it hasn't spread to my organs and I am not dying. Doing lots of things off my list for living is helping me move on - I abseiled a horrifying 420 feet down the Northampton Lift Tower (and raised £610 for charity in the process!). I got back yesterday from an absolutely brilliant holiday in Berlin where I also rode a segway for four hours and LOVED it. Why don't we commonly use segways as transport here?! I didn't get to tick off Berlin's Die Welt hot air balloon unfortunately, due to high winds (technically it's a helium balloon but same thing) but I did go to the Unsicht-bar which is a dark restaurant staffed by blind waiters and waitresses. You literally eat in darkness so intense, your eyes almost hurt - there's not even a sliver of light. And today I am going to book a holiday to Athens for March so I have something else to look forward to. I am going to stop obsessing about melanoma, stop constantly reading medical journals about treatments, and start trying to feel normal, and try to get past my conviction that I will die in the next couple of years. As odd as it sounds, it's somewhat numbing to accept you won't die imminently after all, and that you may have 40 years more to fill but I am going to try and enjoy it by getting the rest of my list experienced!
No comments:
Post a Comment